Current mood:blank
Have you ever met someone who has a chip on their shoulder? Someone who you can only assume has been really hurt in the past, and still has not pulled themselves together and dealt with it? It can be hard to talk to them sometimes, ok, allot of the time.
It is strange how a normal conversation can turn on you. Simply saying that you know how to get to some place can some how turn into an insult to the person you are talking to. Some how that can mean that you are saying they are stupid, or that you are trying to make them feel stupid. You are thinking to yourself, What? huh? I am saying what? trying to make you feel…. umm did I miss something? So you take a few steps back, and explain that you did not mean in any way to say that they were stupid, or to make them feel stupid. I guess at this point it is too late. If they don’t really know you, that is one thing, but if they have this chip on their shoulder from their past, and that drives them to feel negative about all guys, then you are in trouble, and should duck out right then, there is no saving yourself. Everything you say is going to get the “uh huh” or “sure you did” types of response because all of a sudden any credibility you had went out the window as she flipped the switch in her head that turned you from being Jonathan, into you are now every guy, with no credibility, everything you say is a lie, and you are an asshole. In essence, to her you are now a collective of bullshit that she has experienced with other guys in the past, and she will treat you with equal disdain.
All of this caught me off guard, I was not expecting it, nor have I had any military training that could possibly prepare me for this attack which soon turned personal. I now believe that I should have quickly ducked out after my apology. Now, know this, I am human, and after something like that, I was still being patient, and trying to be as understanding as possible. But then it got personal. After I tried to simply exit the conversation after a quick apology, saying I had some things to do, things got interesting. She pulled me back saying she was on the phone, and followed it up with insult. She said “Boys can be dense sometimes”, that followed by turning it into a full on stereotype “all guys are”. Ok, you did get that I said I am human, well as a human, that really hacked off any patience I was having with her. Needless to say, I should have gotten out right after the insults started flying. The rest was short, not too pleasant, I am going to leave it at that.
A keg of gunpowder, me, and a person to fan the flames (though I don’t think she meant to), does not make a good night. Being me, it kept me up most of the night bothering me. I just have to write it down to get it out of my head, and to maybe make sense of it. Some times you just have to let it go, because you can not always make sense out of everything.